doozey

muggin' ended at 4.30am and i cabbed home aft.
dozed off at 3++am when i asked shon e 'decoder' ques. i was really darn tired. got woken up by shon and ryan. tried to understand that ques and off we went home.
sleep. break. i wont even have time to relax aft exams. there's stil intensive trng aft exams!..
tues, thurs, sat and sun. wht isit gnna be like back to trng. even climbin up the stairs was breathless for me. weakling
off to bed

my boo

managed to wake up at the time that planned to. 1pm.
changed song to my boo. simply love the mtv of *usher and alicia keys. it's sooo nice. esp the last part where they were at time square and awww so nice la. usherrrr.love the song. thou there's no one to call my boo
no feelings for anyone right now. the songs are the only thing that i feel close to him. that's all. it has all fade away.
i'm so weak inside me. walked up the darn stairs jus now, cos the darn lift was stuck at 11th storey.. and aft gettin home the faintin spells are back. = wht's wrong? pouts.
anyhos, gnna start muggin now. collect the past yr exam papers from hongwei ltr. joinin shon ans ryan to study in the night. wooohooos. loveeee muggin' (:
im miss the gurls. = nxt weds, 3rd nov. endure...
------------
There's always that one person that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby (you will always be my boo)
out

faintss

daryl kor's tattoo reads: 'Only God Will Judge Me'
-----------------------------------

daryl's tattoo's jus way too cool. -beams
dint join the guys for tanning and celebration of their bdaes. had my nap til 6 and got woken up by dad. cos billie jie's at granny's place and she's cooking dinner. it's been a long time mans.
i almost fainted downstairs.. was zig-zag walkin.
dad: wht? ure drunk?
i was thinking.. wth. drunk. i guess cos i dint have my lunch or sth. reached granny's place and they're stil cooking. surprisingly, uncle jack's back!! wooohoos. was so glad to see him back, he's been away for 2mths plus. i miss these family gatherings, meals. thou there isnt as many pple arnd anymore. but stil it's the warmth. the teevee times. -smiles-.
watch sg idol.. voted for sly before the lines are close. nephew wanted to vote for chrisypoo so allowed him to use my phone to vote. sadly he got voted out.. why?!...teared when he sang 'angel'. it so hard now that the 6 of them are kinda bonded. esp olinda and chris?.. they seemed close. she cried. olinda olinda cho. yupps and watch the champion. and we were discussin bout fiona xie's boobs on the dinner table. muahahs
now that i'm back..it's muggin time. gotta thanx hongwei for telling me bout the ans to tutorials ques. am thinkin wht shall i do to thank those that helped me thru these period. shon, ryan, hongwei. ((: shall see then.

got a mail from mizael statin that in america there's a movie coming up. it's bout Jesus's discipline turnin into homos?.. mockery to Him aint it. i dont noe.. darn. i jus noe it aint right and felt disturbed by it. shiats. America.. Free country huhs.
went to cousin church then, FCBC. in ther service they said bout judgin someone. and in the bible it said sth like, if u judge pple. someone wld judge u too.. and ure in no position to judge anyone? sth like that.. but well how true. i'd nv noe how's pple judge me. but wel, i'm me myself.
ciaos.

*bad/confused

stil awake. nt that i studied. was fiddling with 'ftp software' that yx sent me. kewll.
the prev song i put up was save the last dance for me, n real oldies in 50's 60's. got bored..
changed to leaving on a jet plane. i need these songs to bring my mood down.. and keeping me calm. adrian, del and ben was listenin to my mp3, ride with me. and dancin in the train. that scene. -beams- brudders. but yeaa, not too much of those for now. i need some peace.
does anyone ever judge or have an opinion of someone then feels bad bout it?
i do. i felt bad inside that i looked at hims* that way. it was too fast to judge or had opinion bout hims* i guess. i so wanna reach out to him* but sth jus stopped me. there's a voice inside telling me he deserves it. i just hope things all wld be well soon for hims*

pretty much had changed i guess. the spark's alwys there, it's jus the matter of time spent together. it aint a good thing when there's someone who feels the same way as i do. at a point of time we'd all be together..as time past, each wld go their way leavin the few.
-dilemma

perk me up.

happy birthdaeee ben korrr!! ((:
may ur 'wish' come true.. and rawk on brud.


ohhh sg idol jus ended. my gawsh... sly sang 'the way u look tonight' the song i was so hooked to aft watch 'my best friend's wedding' it's jus shoo nice la. the song shared btwn the 2 bestfriends. it's also e way he captures the audience and the cam is waeee gd. i was thinking, how if someone were to sing that song for me.. gosh damn nice. *touched*
i think olin has got tt kinda voice for jazz? and she's becoming sexayer! woohoos. chris lee and daphane smile jus brights up the whole studio.. blehs. you cant see their eyes. *grins* taufik was gd.. (: leandra's one bubbly girl that cant stop bubbling arnd la.
damnn i kinda like all of em. but in the it's only one singapore idol. it wld be better if i went to watch todae...the song that sly sang and a very diff genre from all the other weeks. with big band! darns.
--------
Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

for a change

...sth for a change. not in the state of studyin. pouts

just have to blog.

urggs i'm havin headache right now. it aint good. dang.
i cant get the answers for sec B n C. it's so much diff la. whts the use when u noe the workings.
*cries*
yx was tellin how he expected e results for his paper. and said there's no reason to score poorly when it's all substituting sums into formulas. and i cant get the ans. fcuk
thougt i knew how to do ac circuit. but i dont noe how to find the apparent power and other powers. and thevenin's theorem..guess that's the other choice i've got for sec C. *cries*
so afraid that i'd take supp for the papers. it's gnna be more difficult.

sometimes i jus wanna be left alone. in the world of myself. alone. away from everything;anyone
sometimes outta sudden, i wanna get high and have fun.
getting back to db trngs, swimming trngs, friends and all...
but now i'm so tired of everything. i've yet to exercise for more than a week. and i'm seriously feeding myself with lotsa junk food while studyin. this sunday trng..

stil in dilemma if i shld go tmr...i'd feel guilty for 'partyin' when it's like exams.. thou i'm gnna stay for a only a while. sighhs.
i need a swim...need to watch singapore idol. need to study.
dreamt bout maths last night..wth -roll eyes- but yes. i dreamt bout it..
now now now, circuit analysis.
screw it and ure gone.

*db singlets are here. but gotta wait for e whole team to be back from exams and everything. and woots..windbreaker.

'nuff of rantin.. back to thevenin's theorem. *sobs

watchin singapore idol live gets u all high and pumped up unlike watchin on teevee -.-
blehs, u scream and cheer for the idol that comes out. u get entertained and laughed the hell out durin commercial breaks. it's way nice. and when's the nxt time i'm gnna watch it agn?.. 4th nov. -winks at su- well that's unless we can get the tix. and write in to whoeva to get the results dae tix lah. it's gnna be so exciting!! the time where sly shouted durin his singin.. hahas.. woahhhs! su turned to me and said omg and screamed. *wth* hahs.. she's got slow reaction time la. she got so high and weak when she saw sly. muahhas. leandra did badly i wld sae =( hope daphne gets voted out. chris sang well, cos it was his genre of songs?.. it was sooo nice la.
it irritates u when u watch and pple arnd starts screamin and cheerin for those whom you dont support. the 3 gays behind us was way too irritating. stil rmbred him sayin.. dick's a gay. urgggs!
feel like turnin ova and said arent u 3 gays too?! screw em.
dint take pics with the idols cos they were goin to raffles hotel. urggs. dang. vincent ng came out and took a pic wit him.. he was in adidas shirt and pants.. he's soo nice and funny la. aww. but the idols was stil nowhere to be seen. fcuk.

aiights nuff of idols. study study. gonna study with sean and xl ltr. god noes wht time wil we finish. need help from sean. i shld jus stop updatin my blog til aft exams. so mean time, i'd be studyin, naruto-in, sea-trngs.
til' then. study hard and have fun.

the champion swimmers swims like woahs.. and the actresses get the i'm a swimmer?!.. muahhas. BS. jus finished naruto epi.28.
gnna walk my baby and yes.. down with pcq. i'm feelin slpy and tired. burnin out too much brainee cells todae.
hanrong made it thru obs sabah!!! darn. stupid backstroker. anyhos, swim team has got a chalet..doesnt clash with any other chalets. but it's $30 for each per. wth..i want to go and all.. but 30 bucks. money doesnt fall from heaven for me. fcuk. )= and tellin us todae. collectin the money tmr while i'm havin my paper. smart. oh whteva *roll eyes*

to glO: gurl!.. this is at least better swimming show than the HK swimming show u watch. wht's S.W.I.M?! goshh. muahhas. at least the swimmers they used here are good swimmers. singapore y'noe! ((:

great.. first i lost my converse shoe. some theft arnd the block goes arnd stealing pple's shoes and heels. mom lost a couple of it.. and now it's my turn. ohh balls!!!.. i bought that shoe aiights. it's stil so so so new. jus hope that ass who wears it wld have smelly hongkong rotten feet. my hse's the target hurrs? right size for em. fuck. the shirt u2 top that i bought with glo has got godnoeswht stains on it. stil dont noe if it cld be washed off. urgggs. wht a dae.

well, at least engg drawin paper was aiights. i cld draw the isometric drawin!!! woots! and the thrid angle projection. blehs. so it was aiight! ((: saw ben, daryl, del and darren. the few bruds i met todae. gave brud ben a tight tight huggs. troubled over so much stuff and all. drank like 7 shots of whiskey?! and finished all his ciggs. -_- so unhealthy. wanted to study wit classmates but gave it a miss cos i wanna catch The Champion. it's like so wrong la huhs, gave up studyin with classmates and watch tv. but i'm gnna study aft the show. so yupps.

i'm gnna watch singapore idol LIVE!!!!!... cant wait. with su and glo. cp aint interested.. so she aint goin. live!!.. woooohooos. jus hope tmr's paper wld be steady pom-pi-pi!.. study.. ((:
30 mcqs and i wonder how tricky the ques are. he even gave us the exact questions.

it angers me to see him treated like this
told him whteva i alwys wanted to...
wht's love?
it jus makes me feel so loved and on cloud 23546
however, it'd bring me to the lowest mood
and make me feel so weak.
somehow i no longer allow myself to feel that way.
he/she'd wld nv want to hurt u in a way or other.

*7 daes*

gawsh..the 'short fudge' msged me in friendster. wht the hell.
"hows life" logged out aft. seriously, jus darn luck to see him that day.
did the drawings while watchin naruto.. the sad parts, the song. *sobs* how touching.
-evil luffs- and i drew up those drawings that i thought i can nv draw. wht hongwei and stevenn said jus kept playin in my mind, practise makes perfect. hope the drawings ltr wont be chiemalogy.. -crosses fingers-
back to naruto C:
till then'

had my 12 hrs of slp. therefore goin to sch was striked out. -_- this cant go on...
weather was dead good to slp. chattin with yixian in the wee hrs online. hrd the thunder roar and stuff. dint expect real heavy rain. weather's stil chilly right now. givin me the temptation to slp!.. but, gotta practise my drawing. checked the venue and it's in the LT. how do u actually draw in the lecture hall?.. moving the paper arnd.. and moreover the darn sits and table stand isnt stable. urggs. pcq's in sports halls. aircon pls... (: muahhas
alrights, started with naruto.. it's funny and exicitin! not the right time right now but yea, it's nice.
current blogsong playin..'one more moment' yixian intro-ed it to me this morn'.
Give me
Just one part of you to cling to
And keep me
Everywhere you are
It's just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the falling sun

*8 daes*

alrightys..i can draw up 2 isometric drawings. -applaud herself- (: seriously i cant visualize. was tryin to draw another.. from thrid-angel to isometric. am blurred. took me 50mins to each drawing. gawsh..how can i finish up the paper in time. no ideas.
was msgin jeric while drawing. suddenly the msges stopped coming in. he jus fell aslp while msging i guess. hahs. and yea he told me syz's back? a yr had past huhs? that's like woahs, darn fast. kinda missed that unique voice of hers.. and whoeva that new sg girl is?.. no ideas.. but syz's voice unique anyhos. so diff to imitate.
la la la.. stil quite awake.. lookin thru pcq notes. sth that i've missed out while studyin that day. darns. i'm soo scared aiights.
there'd be tan cb's lect ltr.. and maths. revision and stuff.. gotta attend. darn, maths. *pouts* anyhos, practice makes perfect??.. be it drawin or math. yea babeh!
mmms, gotta get back to pcq.. and prolly naruto ltr? blehs. shall see.
advantages of sampling...

*9 daes* -ta exams
*2 daes* -CTs
*3 daes* -premiere of Simple Life 2 and Posh, Rich and Loaded [i think]
*16 daes* -premiere of The OC season 2!!!!
*33 daes* -SRR

went ta sch.. got my calculator back from cp. thru yixian. thanx lots. (: met glo for lunch.. some math revision thingy.. classmates all dint go and did self-study. and so i did self-studyin too.
i guess i simply cant study arnd 5-8? sun's settin or whtsoeva. it's alwys that period of time when i study i'd have a very bad headache. and the maths ques was drivin me ku ku..
left classmates early and headed home.
gnna study pcq/engg drawin, only aft watchin antm that show totally rawks. read the episode.. jenascia's eliminated this round. and why not camille?!?! darns. janice simply doesnt like jenascia cos she's the shortest. every single round she wld point out that she's short. hurr hurrs. dont like janice either. so wht if she's the first model eva modelled. she's an old wrinkled heck now. but her boobs are stil in place yea. whteva *roll eyes*
i better save up these few weeks. pay debts.. and the chalets that are coming up. -.- mmms. yea.
brud jus bought a nike dunk... and a shirt. shld i sae he's thrifty or he digs money?.. whether he's out on the weekends he'd stil get money from parents and pocket it himself. damnns. and watchin movies these daes la huhs. learn from him... save... and maybe dont eat as much junk food. save some money to get a new jeans... ((:
outta here.. 9 o'clock show's coming up... blehs.. chris lee... and joe joe. muahhahas.

*10 daes*

dint go for trng today. first time missing sea-trng. feelin so sick and aches, cramps. why must women have menstrul cramps? balls.
mom's bdae todae.. she stil cooked lunch for us. felt so bad.. she was so nice to me la. (: lovee her.
dad fixed the dumb fan in my room.. it's stil darn hot.
dint even step outta the hse todae. was stayin home ta sleep, eat and study.
sch starts at 2 tmr. goin sch early to study with classmates at 11... and yes meet cp to get my calculator and glo to get my hairband. shld i swim tmr..? shall see. feel like dipping only.

why is everyone speakin with like their sentences endin with "ba"?! for exp: maybe ba.
i just cant stand it...totally turns me off if that person speaks to me using that.. darn i dont noe.. i'm gnna have a BF when pple blurts "ba" outta their mouth.
BF which means bitch fit.. those who watched whitechicks wld noe. muahahahas. it's jus darn farnie. wanna catch shark tale....yixian deleted his. so.. maybe should catch it in the movies.
aft exams.. (: there's 4 chalets. kid's chalet's in nov too.. hahs. sec sch, kid's, chemical, DB.
outt here right now.

*11 daes*

studyin was good. (: jus that cp wasnt wit us. went to glo's place to study. halfway thru watched kindered spirit and encore telecast of singapore idol while studyin too. muahahs.
more or less i noe how to find 'rms' and 'average' using intergration. ((: yupps. more to go...
but guess that's all for me todae. have to get nuff rest as there's trng tmr.
grandma's back from china.. so went down to her place aft studyin. gosh, she look how shagged and brought so much stuff back. and the way she was instructin cousin to unpack. jus made the mood so 'pek chek'.. so yea went down to have dinner. went up agn and everything was more or less settled down. *phewws*

aiights the whole family's hp bill jus shot up this mth.. mine was like 70+ the prev. and oh god noes wht how i used it. i dont noe how starhub charges too. i dont even chat on the phone for long. not to sae like an hr alrights. yea, bro's bill is 96++ and dad's 170++ cos he called overseas. and starhub said if u were to use 018 to call china or taiwan it's like normal local charges? are they bullshitting or whts? balls.
i'm seriously controlling the usuage now anws. so.. pray hard that my bill isnt like overshootin 34..
out.

done with pcq.
stil need frequent refreshin of memory thou.
engg drawin's dead meat.
cant visualize it..
huang cp's holdin on to my calculator..
did only a few sums of math..ohh help.
gnna do all the tutorials ques. that prolly leaves me no time to do the past yr ques?
i can do it..

dint sae fcuk for the whole dae includin trng. was tryin so hard so the word 'fish' jus keeps comin out. darn shirt dropped in the toilet.. i screamed and shouted fuck darn loud. fool. aiights no idea why am i bloggin this. tryin ta be more civilise. trying..
oh!!! and jerry's outta SI!! woots. (: came out of the toilet and asked jonathan. was so happy that did a darn hard and solid hi-5. palm hurt aft. pouts. but yea whteva..jerry's out. gonna catch the repeat telecast of SI.. no matter wht. wld be home aft trng to study...-.- then it's SI. *grins*
am i drownin myself into books?
yawnns. gnna bed now.
nights

*11 daes*

gosh it's like 11 more dae to examination. -freaks out-
jus cant believe it. now i've got less than 2 weeks! darn.
gnna meet e 2 babehs to mug ltr. the msg read 'bk'? mmms, town bk huhs. noise polution. shall see.. main purpose is to mug anyhos.

dint even want to go to sch ytsd. to hand up the stupid darn proj.. before gettin outta the hse i caught a 15mins nap. was studyin til i fell aslp.

oh.. meet ben, mike, adrian and del. *grins* it's like they've been gone for the whole of the week. seldom see them, that one cld really count the no. of hrs we actually see each other. oh whteva, they're bzy wit their stuff and mine with studies. stil thinking if i shld stay-over for the chemical chalet comin up. everyone's gnna have like their the other half and daryl, del and i wld prolly be left alone to crap mong ourselves when the night's toning down?.. urgg i dont know. examss.. examms.

only a handful girls went for trng. hahas. guys.. more than 5.
i simply cant run or whts. i dont think it's my contacts. cos durin sunday run i'd feel worse. thou i'm runnin with my specs on. low blood pressure? it suck when u wanna run and u cant. i'm jus so afraid to faint and get a damn stroke or die la huhs. it comes agn when i was doing wts. -b*lls-
not gnna go for the weekdaes trng. but gnna go for sea trng. prolly jus train in swimming or whts. legs were so weak aft swim trng on weds. kickin one leg with flipper and another without.. mich's idea. hahas.

oh fel left a testi sayin an outing's organised... soon. aft exams i hope!.. wheeees. if all the sn gurls cld gather together.. i'm missing the mee tai mak.. and mrs huang. muahahs. aiights outta here.
ja.

alrights. i'm stil up. jus askin for dark eye rings for myself arent i.
yea i'm tired but i'm not done with pcq jus yet. =\ stil at the beginnin of it.
want to wake up in the morning ltr. prac my piano. miss it lots. practised it til i lost track of time that dae. (:
back to sch to hand up my proj and trng.
gnna pace..even when i'm gnna drop it'd better be aft my last round. and yes, you can do it viv.
yes trng.. i've yet to dry my clothes. darn

ooo why isit that everyone start listenin to 'if i aint got you'? first it was ben who got so in love.. and now zahidah. and smhow i like it too. blehs. listenin to it on dah's bloggie. ((: if i aint got you. who's the *you* to me? screw it. no one. i'm confused and dont wish to think bout anything bout *it.
and i guess i'm stil one happy gurl. -grins-

friggin hell missed my first lesson. tot it was tutorial. was so fed-up wit myself. only when i met my classmates then i knew it was e-learning. yay, but where's the discipline? sucha a fool. hongwei and sharul's grp presentation was jus best mong the others. *claps* the whole grp of guys from another grp was pissing the hell outta me. urggs. blehs and hongwei shot a ques back when one of the gurl presented. muahahs. nice one. when other grps presented i was doin engg drawin. but wth, i dont give a damn bout other grps.

met gloria aft sch for my late lunch?.. was pretteh broke. bout fries with ez-link card. -.- it's jus so nice to actually sit down and chat. hehs. did we even do that in sec sch? it's nt often that i get to meet up and chat like todae. everyone's bzy preparin for exams and projs..blahs.

met the 2 babehs at j8. went to levi's to try their jeans. cos i seriously need a new jeans. bigger size of cos. my jean's are like burstin pretty soon. *biatch* and when su and i went into the fittin room it jus seemed so cramped. and cp was openin the curtains?!... hella crap in the fittin room la. the noises.
on the way up to the cinema saw marcus. gosh.. it was su who spotted him. umm he act' saw me and yes i saw him. how awkward. wht sorta reaction i had then. anyhos, stood in front of the cinema counter for god knows how long.. and this rhythum jus came to me?.. jus kept repeatin it thru out.

The Exorcist-the beginning is kinda funny? not as scary as compared to when i watch the exorcist 2 or whts. watched that when i was in sec3. was stil pretty scardy cat stil. the bed jus started movin and all. but yups, the start of the movie kinda turn me off for a moment. they actually have the CROSS hangin upside down. the huge one with JESUS hangin upside down. [wht the...] it's bout the devil.. so prolly that explains it? i dont know. but it aint right. and the show's funny at some parts, and it wld jus scare u a lil. scary to em gettin possessed. =x and the devil's a stupid horny one!? wht the fish. hahas. those who watched wld noe. omg.. our reaction was wht the...-burst into laughters. when the devil appeared in the tunnel cp and i screamed at the same time and right in su's ear. disadvantage of sittin in da mid yea? gnna ask my coussie to watch it. yucks i cant get the tot of the horny devil! it's farnnie la. and when we're in ntuc.. i'm jus singin and.. linkin things up.
s11 for dinner. it's yummi. and the company was even better. then.. cp's a big FOOL. she cant speak when she luffs. dooo.

alrights, and i wont have any lessons tmr 'cept for e-learning which is an hr. which i dont think i'm gnna go. but i've stil gotta go back to sch to hand up my proj which was due.. a week ago. opps. yeshh. imagine.. i dont need ta go sch tmr. it's like, wooohoos! i've gotta do self study stil. mms needta bath and study. and maybe i,robot ltr? blehs...suddenly i miss gyss. dont ask me why, cos i dont know.
toodles.

*14 daes*


da barfday girl with e bouquet of flower from her dearest mike. my brud. lookin so swt aint she. awwww. [10oct]

alrighty done with my e-learnin survey. and that's only for DE? damnns i want to do the survey for maths. jus spill everything out. hehs. yesh and i'm here bloggin away. cos i've finished the study material alr yea. (:
hongwei, yaohui and leok kean are playin the seg[e] 3 on 3 bball. hvnt decide if i shld watch it. goin for a swim..headache was back agn. not goin for trng. gnna study pcq today. yes gurl study. exam's are like 2 weeks away. pcq CT's a week away. wht the.. pouts.
i know it myself that i need to study and all. studies comes first. however not going for trng makes me feel weak. while rowin and all. not having the strength. even when it's halfway thru the wts that day. shucks. wanted to run, dint bring shoes and all. ohhh.. exams, CTs.
ben wasnt here todae. -.- dont know if he's goin for trng. only saw del todae. nt gnna start naggin and dont wish to. jus hope their gnna-be-the-other-half wld do that. cos i no longer noe how to actually persuade.
the songs jus keeps playin in my mp3. i shut my eyes and the image of him comes to my mind. the elegance and motions. eases my headache and everything else. will i be...[?] -crosses fingers-
meetin the 2 babehs to watch exorcist aft sch. wooohoos. so lookin fwd to it. gnna see em both. and to watch a movie?! been a long time... thou i watched princess diaries 2 ytsd.. muahhas. it's jus so royal la.
aiights shall stop. i'm feelin slpy and freezy in the elp.. [shivers]

-beams- i love irritating this guy. (: [dae out with brud john on 9oct]


----------------------------------
listenin to some songs.
some songs that brings the past memories
and the present ones.
*she smiles to herself.
nth seems to make me actually happy or smile.
nth
'cept for ***** i guess.
perhaps some other people.

am i withdrawin or what.
or prolly it all levels up
that i jus cldnt bear with it anymore.
drift it all away.
the only thing to keep my mind in peace is the songs and -blahs-

*16 daes*

sch was aiight. got my common test schedule. stil gotta come back to sch even we dont have papers. lects are goin thru lotsa revision. no lect for stevenns and vivian's. so sch's gnna be like from 2-4 nxt mon?... how cool hurrs. 2 hrs of lect only. muahhas. am awaitin to see if there's any other pract that we dont have to attend. can spend more time doin my drawing and revising thru. gnna get down to do up my pcq. the 30 tips he gave us. (: seah's my fav la. exam's like 16 daes away. how freakie.

went to swim aft sch. only hanrong and zul were there. mich joined aft hearin that i'm swimming. hahas. lots of crappin in the pool. and yea some people were lookin at girls. checkin out her -ahems- well apparently he said it is big?.. and asked me to check it out. manns.. simply she dint want to show her body to us. madness. it's another person who said i'm sick. damnns. yaya i'm sick. *roll eyes* luffed bout the 'whale' who went to swim. the guys called him a dragonfly. -.- mms. found out some stuff.. like zul's dad's a coach too. outta the 4 includin me who were swimming. i'm like the .. dont noe wht ta sae. mich and zul's dad are coaches. hanrong was coached by andy before.. and me nothing. oh well i'm a dragonboater. muahhas. sickening zul was pacing me while i was finishin my laps. that guy's definately buildin his bod. it's nice.

in newpaper today, this SP guy died..? while playin soccer.. he's a dragoanboater in SP too. tragedy.
life's jus so fragile. people faint and die. even while playin soccer they die. what's save? whether u exercise anots somehow *choys* sth wld happen. everything's so unexpected.

who knows maybe one day when i'm running i'd jus faint and die. while swimming i'd jus float in the water. liftin the weights it falls on me.--[this wil nv happen thou. cos there's alwys a partner there]. i'm jus so so very tired. physically tired, affects on my energy to get down to books. so it'd mean less trng and all. i'm nt pushin hard durin swimming either. for each trng for myself i only sprint 2x50m. andy wont be back til nxt yr. wth -.- when he's back he's gnna do 70% land trng?.. land trng agn.. guess it wont kill me... hrd he asked the swimmers to carry the med ball and run. prays he's nt gnna do that to us. if that's the thing, then kill me.
outta here gnna wtch ANTM

playin: `love me by colin raye

-*chemistry

itchy hands of mine jus cant control itself. jus went clickin away. and that brought my mood a lil down. there's alwys good and bad side of everything isnt it?

why isit everytime, u want that person so much but yet he/she cant be. or for some other personal reason or otherwise?
jeric once told me this:
liking someone's not always the greatest thing
the greatest thing to me is tat u learn how special this person is to you
and then you learn to treasure him/her and not make him/her yours in someway
perhaps like and love is sucha great world apart...

i guess so. pouts. let me be in my dreamland. at least things arent changin in there. i dont have the guts in the real world itself. i'm happy right now. i guess. -shrugs.
if *he only knew

*17 daes*

happy barfdae sista ni!!!! lovee u tonnes. =* =*

sat--
out with the gurls and brud john. ((: late bdae dinner with him. great time catchin up and crappin. went ta thai xpress [service's so off. damns] shopped arnd and went gelare for some waffles! it's uber sinful. but i like. got this crave for it now. on tues.. blehs. shared with john. and the gurls dint want any at first. ended up glo and su shared. cp got a drink. muahhas. sths are jus irresistable. ;] like crazy shits takin pics with our hp. gees. anyhos, had to go home early.. cos of trng. reached home at 12am. so tired out thou it's jus half day out. nxt week wld be the last meetin with the girls till aft exams. pouts. gnna miss em lots. and that spastic brud too.

sun--
felt the back at my back when i woke up. just heck went for trng. waked the bruds up. but jus simply cant get thru kor's hp cos it's off. but all the bruds were down for trng. *wheees*
running was damn sucky. i cldnt catch up at all. lagged behind. ankle hurts, stupid giddyness. ohfish. in 2s, left and right. giddy agn. low sugar intake in the morning yea? dont noe. better in the boat. all the muscles jus starts achin like hell. screaming to myself inside. 'oh fuckit pull it longer and stretch' stil jazz was remindin me to stretch. swapped with the guys halfway thru trng. while doing the changin fingers got caught in btwn the gunrail of two boats. damns! jonathan was laughin at me. darns. and in the baby boat i was the only girl. -.- but the feeling of being with the boat of guys with aggressive strokes and all is damn nice. i understand wht jo meant by aggresive now. most of the girls see it. did more than 6 sets of 5long, 2ohard and 10 long. wohhs and alvin jus splashed the water right in my face. while drinking up this guy wanted to splash water to the guys in front.. ended up pourin the whole bucket of water ova me. -.- ooggays. butt bone's aching and all. darnns. there's stil room for improvement. jo said "Pain is weakness leaving the body! Remember, if you are not playing your heart out, someone else is. And when you meet him, he will WIN."

feel like runnin tmr. but there's no one to sorta pace with. so i'd prolly jus swim. feel so burnt on my face. urggs.
---------------------------------------------
sometimes it's better not to know the truth. but well truth hurts.
i kinda prefer things the way it is.
the small lil things that means nth to him. but lots to me.
jus sth and i'd feel i'm on cloud 23464.
forget bout the negative stuff.
and i'll be one happy gurl.
and yea i'm happy. blehs.. *

`
was hopin and awaiting.
shld i thank god or whts.
grins from ear ta ear.
quiet but i smhow enjoyed it.
i was hopin it wld nv stop.
never
*stealin smile

*19 daes*

dint manage to wake up for morning lesson. only got home at 2++am aft studyin. i'm simply dead tired this week. am not able to get 6-8hrs of slp. which i need. must. todae i've got my full 8hrs of slp. woke up and went to sch to finish up proj wit dah. rushin it.. went late for lesson. tarun did the presentation. preety good.
did my tutorial while waitin for trng to start. time's precious.. bruds dint go for trng cept daryl. but went off halfway. got beaten.. of muscle at hamstring stretched. gosh. but wells, some went somewhere with their someones. gawsh.. it's how swt. hope ta see 2 couples emergin soon yea. feeling so happy for them.
no. of gurls..9. exams are coming. guess most are takin the study break.
no ideas, the giddy and faintin syndromes jus comes. while running, inclined flex, weights. thru the whole trng i'd say. maybe my lunch was simply pathetic. rushin thru proj. jus had a mars bar and wedges. =x anyhos, i'm feeling weak. gues period's coming.. i'd get so weak and slpy. urggs.
trng was short and swt. ben wanted everything to end by 8.30. and for once i'm home earlier durin trng days! i feel good...
went yoshi aft trng.. first time that i almost clean out the whole bowl of rice. usually it's alwys half left.
hrd that jerry's stil in si?! wht the.. this db senior was telling me.. he's rich and lotsa supporters. hahas. is jerry the dark horse? noh noh noh babeh! i stil prefer sly's prev hair colour. i'm fallin in love with his voice. stands for david yeo stil. grins.

i'm on cloud 9.... -humms happytreefriends song- blush blush

dint mention bout the presentation in earlier post. guess all went wel. tot i wld freak out. but i think i did aiight. first presentation in poly. for pcq stil choosin. jus pray it aint me. it'd be how unlucky. pouts. laurence and the other 2 malay guys did on guitar. laurence strummed 'when u said nth at all' heart just sank. shut my eyes and memories falls back. he played qingtian too. for the mly guys they played hotel california. ohhh, when's dad gnna strum the guitar and sing to us agn?
'when u said nth at all' jus keeps playin inside me endlessly

- i cried
I cried,
And I don't care who knows it,
I cried,
I ain't too proud to show it,
I cried,
when you said good-bye,
ooh, baby,
I cried.

VERSE:
I wonder if you ever think of me,
or am I just another distant memory?
And after all, that we've been through,
it's just so hard to give up on you.

agn seah ended lect early aft givin us tips for exam. lovee that lect. (: gees
pcq lect's cancelled tmr.. 3hrs of break. but i've gotta finish up the proj. urggs. darn. my part's jus to do the drawin and i'm done. stevens pract's jus so dreadful.. darns.
piano lesson wld resume on 4nov. concentrate on my studies first. goin home aft sch and prolly a nap. and study in the night with xianliang and sean. hmmms maybe aft singapore idol?.. sth that cant be missed. blehs.
oooo! i so wanna noe wht isit...but but but... sighs...really eager. but dont noe if it's gd or bad. or who cares. muahahahs *evil luffs* grins

*20 days*

changed the blog song- i cried

dint go for trg ytsd. urggs darn. havin headaches quite often these daes. came home and nap before goin for trng. and yet it got worse. giddily walkin and almost fainted when i went out. dad was home and asked me to stay home. he cooked the teochew steamed fish for me. and i miss one trg! -freaks- and whts? ben gave the quiz and it's written. for those who dint turn up for trg ytsd.. jus too bad la huhs. and i missed it. *pouts* i missed it.
trg wld be as usual even durin exam period. can have own study break to mug. but then agn, when we study, not goin for trg. the level that ive reached wld drop further. but for now my life's simply mug, trng, love [friends and family]. i'm enjoyin muggin now. askin piano teacher to stop lessons until aft exams. she hasnt reply me. the time when ive got no trng. i'd study. have to. aft trg i'd be dead beat. and i wont really concentrate?.. yups
gnna finish up math tut and slp.. presentation early in da morning. formal wear. and in heels?! damns.
sometimes i wonder wht do i mean to you now?
i enjoy your company so much. however i felt distant. very distant. maybe i'm just not engagin the activities that are planned, as i'm studyin or for whteva reasons. i dont know.
whenever you call.. it's for... *blahs*.
sighs i dont noe. back to math. out

happy 17th barfday to brudderrrr john low! ((:



the muggin begins- *21 daes more*
----------------------------------------------
felt that i'm on cloud 268457 ytsd yea. cant help but grin from ear ta ear. while i was sitting there, i wonder wht's in their mind when they play or while composin the song. i shut my eyes and listen.. memories jus flowed, tears filled my eyes. the good and bad ones. it aches deep down.
i love watchin pple doin the things i like. -inspired- the feel and control of it. am i able to do that i asked myself. it all ended nice. late for lect thou. but wht the heck. (:

whenever i'm nt able to absorb wht the lect's sayin i'd have a bad headache. darns. swam, but only pathetically 14 laps. -.- dint wanna exert that much energy. sprint for 2x50m. happy with the speed. blehs, the weight liftin's paid off. in swimmin wise. i'm jus overall tired to go for trng. i'm stil going thru math sums. finished editin my pd ppt. sighhs. spent time with the bruds and ni. (: awww!! i'm lovin' all these. and perhaps studyin too?

met sean and xianliang to study in da night. talked bout lotsa stuff and of cos, did math sums. managed to tackle some integration ques. like thank god! all thanx to sean and xianliang. practising right now.. yawns.
mmmms, gotta know sth. all i cld do was jus *blush blush* blehs. gawdd i dint noe i blush when i.... mann tt's embarrassing. gees. anyhos, shall do a few more ques and slp.

*she cant fit into her jeans. darnit

*22 days*which means 3 weeks and a day.
feeling slpy. stil up to do up some ppt slides for pd proj. presentation this thurs. pcq proj not done. deadline's this fri. urggs.
dah's mom in the hosp. jus hope her mom's fine. and jil too. -prays for em-
there was an article on newpaper last sat sayin a 7 yr old girl fainted and had a stroke. it jus struck me. will it happen to me if i faint? hearin lots on kids, teens gettin stroke at such a young age. gonna read up on this. i'm scared.
anyhos, regret not swimming todae. feeling lazy and sat by the pool and ive got this urge to jump in. dumb. ben ran 20 rounds. went off while he was at his 11. met mom in town. blehs, bought a bra and used the voucher to get the shirt. first time in these mths that i'm actually out with mom in town. i miss those family daes and stuff. dad not workin, or maybe spendin more time at home. strumming the guitar and singin out loud. plays the cha cha music and dances round the hse. singin the oldies. it was his bdae ytsd. it was like any norm daes. sighhs. i cooked noodles for him yea. things can nv be the same agn?
sometimes window shopping aint gd. cos u'd tend to have this temptation to buy it. if not, then u'd plan and pick those u wanna buy and be back for em. but i love it...
so wanna get the topshop yellow tank. thinking that she wanted it so i'd wait. and she got it from somewhere. pouts. if i knew it earlier i'd jus have grab it. i want it so much...
*antm and si rawkss mua socks* ltr!

i'm telling myself each day
it'd be a better day tmr
for the past week
it never was
not until i meet the girls.
it was better.
but i'd say
it'd definitely be a good day today
i'm looking fwd to it

*26 daes*

tired. mentally, and maybe physically.

overslept on the train. jumped up when the train's leavin queenstown. kept mom waitin for so long. pouts. mom willingly acc me ta queensway. got fbt shorts and another shorts. the nike pink sportsbra that i wanted they dont have it. fish. they're left with orange and white. sizes are mostly XL, and i'm afraid e color of the red shirt we wear wld drop. so got the adidas triple striped. (:
went to amk central myself to check the hp prices out. on my way home, i jus thought bout the trng jus now, my studies. whteva that was said durin debrief jus kept running thru my mind. sighhs. first time that i got to row in a baby boat. i guess ben has got no choice or whts. in the baby boat i'd jus have to stretch out further and throwin body fwd. no one was behind me. and yes 'twist ur body' that was wht i'm remindin myself. was keepin up with jazz strokes. her strokes was powerful, long and sharp. urgggs.
balls. shld i train tmr?.. aft swimg i'd be so lazy. hafta study when i'm back home. lala. i did like only 4 ques at glo's place. hurrs.
ciaos..
here comes t630.. love it.

nyp dragons chalet on 10dec at PA [sentosa], e1 n e2 chalet coming up in nov?, chemical chalet too. (: db chalet.. ben organised it. hrd he cooks well. hahas. well, i'm there to eat and help out. i can alwys help out. if u ask me ta cook. tt's a big nono. blehs.
studyyyy.... urggs. no pain no glory.

happy 19th barfdae del...

ohh so they're the safsa dragonboaters. -faints- oh but wells, nyp dragonboat guys are nicer? *wrinkled nose* hahs. seriously i want to see the nj db gurls jane said they're damn big. and they cld actually do guys pull up. mymymy! impressed. and there's quite a no of spies arnd to see nyp db. wht the... wht's the pt anws.
ben went off half way thru trg. quietly?! guess he was pissed. =( a lil too chatty and own swt timing at gym. darnns. i'm not improving on my running anymore. ballies. urggg. muscles jus get so tight. and at the sole the pain. ribcage area. how useless la huhs. 4 rounds and i'm gone. -_- shiats.
dae was fine. aft sch chatted with xianliang, zhenwei and ben at the bridge. those guys made me luff till my rib area was hurting. lols. and classmates are goin ova to qinguo's place as she's cookin for us and aft tt study. brudders and sistas are goin ta sentosa to celebrate del's bdae. however, i'm afraid i cant attend any. cos i've alr had a date with my 3 gfs. gnna study tgt and ltr get pressie for some pple. hehs. and then dinner! i'm lookin fwd to this particular sat. weeks of sch, dont have that much opportunity that all 4 of us are tgt. there's trg on sunday, cant afford to stay out too late on sat.
seems like sats are so precious now that i gotta watch the time. cant slp too late. i'd be so down during sea trg. so far... so good.
ooya! tension was in sch todae. playin bball. gawsh and nyp 'vesper' was there too?! -ewws- it's like e gurls are so fair.. and flabby? the skirt and top were jus squeezin out more fats out. make-up was so thick. hrd they took an hr to do up the make up?! alrights..-scratch head-
wht do i study in sch now? own modules and also db rules and regulations. instead of takin notes to flip thru. i'm readin up the r&r. why is it alwys a fridae that i'm happy? blehs. saturday's coming.. yea baby!

nini looks hot and sexeh in her formal skirt and heels. wooohooos ni!
cant wait to meet up with em ta study... lalalas
ohhh i'm so happy!!... sighss.. but yesh aww i'm happy la huhs.
and did i mention. i felt so sinful todae!!! ate macs for lunch. cos someone wants to eat. and yet they ate 2 PLAIN burgers and me with a whole meal. -mmeows-

*26 daes*
ohh babeh su was sayin i sound quite happy todae?...i noe why. blehs.
durin break dah wanted to donate blood and we walked from shoppin arcade to the 'ttoa' passed by macs. from far we cld see this whole grp of darn darn tanned guys walkin in the oppo direction. and they're like woahhs macho. well built. and saw this guy wearin dark blue singlet with chinese characters and saw a dragon "long" in one of it. dont noe how to read chinese only recognise the 'long' ohhh!!.. and at the back a dragon pic.. dragonboater ehs? jus my guess. and they're not king kongs or whts. jus teh right size. and the shortest guy is quite good lookin yea. hvnt seen em in sch before. like never ever, intruders?! mmms, stil i jus hope they'd intrude more. blehs... so far hvnt seen any poly students in kallang trg for db. jus those uni students.
aiights.. shant go further. many wld think i'm sick. tt's the only thing tt keep me goin right now. ohhh i'm sick in da mind. later!